EduJourney: Overwhelmed

Last year, I only had two SPM students, and I was able to handle it just fine. I thought I was prepared for anything that would come my way. After all, I had been teaching for a few years now and had some experience under my belt. But as it turns out, I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was. The reality was far different.

As I struggled to keep up with the lesson plan, my mind raced with self-doubt. I couldn't shake off the feeling that I was ill-prepared and that I was doing a disservice to my students.

Usually, I would extend the class because I felt the time was too short, I want to cover everything. But it wasn't an option this time. I found myself constantly glancing at the clock, wishing for the class to end, which only made me feel more disappointed in myself.

Perhaps one of the reasons why I wasn't at my best was because I had been working non-stop for the past few weeks. Between daily classes in weekdays and weekends, administration work and marketing responsibilities, I had barely found time to rest, let alone prepare for my classes. I was feeling burnt out, and it showed in my teaching. It had taken a toll on my mental and physical well-being. I felt exhausted, unprepared, and overwhelmed. 

On top of everything, I had not anticipated the number of students that would show up for the first class. I had only prepared for those who had informed me that they would attend, and I was caught off guard by the sudden influx of new faces. It left me feeling unprepared and under-equipped to handle the situation. 

I know that struggles are part of the journey, and I've had my fair share of them. But this time, I couldn't help feeling disappointed in myself. It's hard not to set high expectations for myself, and when I feel like I fall short, it can be difficult to pick myself up again. As much as I tried to shake it off and tell myself that I'll do better next time, the disappointment lingered. 

But I know that I can't let this get the best of me. I need to keep pushing forward, even when things get tough. I need to remind myself that it's okay to struggle and that it's all part of the learning process. And who knows? Maybe next time, I'll surprise myself and do better than I ever thought possible.

Aaminn.

// And the fact that I seek motivation from Chatgpt shows that I am so desperate. Here's what it says:

Thank you Ai. Keep helping single hooman like me.

Still struggling,

Fafa Kyraa